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Catty New Year
Welcome to Catty New Year, (above, back cover from a photo by Peggy Johnson at left, front cover by Lazette Gifford at right) our lucky-thirteen story cat-themed New Year anthology! I can't think of any way to do it justice by posting any single story here, because each of them is so unique. So let me just run down the index and tell you a bit about each tale. The stories aren't in alphabetical or any other logical order -- just in the order in which I received them. Here they are:
THE INTRUDER by Michael Warren: Junior, the cat, is out for his nightly jaunt when he observes a strange, saucer-like object fly down out of the sky and land near him. With cat curiousity, he wonders if it might contain something interesting -- like cat food. Eventually, the humanoid creatures who come out of it leave the door open and Junior tiptoes in to investigate. The humanoids discover him and, for a variety of reasons, decide to take him home with them. Junior gets the gist of this, and objects vehemently, as he has a perfectly nice home with humans already well trained. So he tries that catty trick that always gets him placed -- or hurled -- outdoors. The results? One of the funniest scenes I've ever read in s-f. No wonder an earlier version of this gem of an s-f story won Anotherealm's Higney Prize (highest award) a couple of years ago.
THE NEW YEAR'S EVE OFFENSIVE by Arthur Sanchez. Poor Santa! He is having a run of bad luck this year. If you read our last Christmas anthology, The Twelve Cats of Christmas a story called "The Battle of Elm Street" told us about Santa, who is an elf, meaning a very tiny guy, not the six-footer usually pictured, encountering a half-starved, myopic street cat who found her way into a house he was visiting. To the cat, Santa looked something like a mouse = dinner. Santa and his elves had to fight a terrific battle to elude the cat. But this year, it's even worse. Santa and his elves are captured by a crazed vivisectionist, along with the myopic cat. The mad basement scientist can't wait to make sushi out of these strange little creatures he has found. Though the first unpleasant surprise had been Santa's, at being captured, he and his elves -- with their newly enlisted cat allies -- are determined that won't be the last surprise of the day.
THE CASE OF THE MISSING RATS by Arthur Sanchez. An aged Chinese sorcerer and his cat, Zhan, coverse frequently and sarcastically, especially after Mr. Wong undertakes to solve a mystery brought to them by the King of the Rats. Zhan is disgusted that it is he who must go to the rats' stronghold seeking clues. Which he does so successfully that he runs straight into...a human death cult. This could get serious, even for someone who reputedly has nine lives!
tHE KITTEN'S CABOODLE by Gary Markette. Gavin McQue, that tough-talking but tender-hearted detective who keeps all the criminals in The Seven Counties on the run, is baby-sitting his lady friend's kitten for New Year's Eve. Then a call comes in, offering him a case. Will he take it? "Let's see. I haven't had a case in two months, it's New Year's Eve, Melody's (the lady friend) out of town...so yeah, I might be able to squeeze you in." The case turns out to be the prevention of the theft of a hugely valuable necklace at a society ball going on right that minute. So off goes McQue -- with the kitten in his pocket -- to the fancy ball and some fancy detecting, including an assist from the kitten.
HICKORY DICKORY DOCK by Jean Goldstrom. There's this mouse named Hickey -- short for Hickory, it seems -- who hungrily gobbles crumbs soaked in a witch's potion. He wakes up a few hundred years later --hungry! Searching for food, he is fatally run over by a car. In Heaven, he's still hungry. Scuttling into a big, important-looking building -- the kind that might have a cafeteria or something -- he climbs to the top of a big, fancy clock to look the place over. As the two hands of the clock come together to mark midnight, they close on his dangling tail. No 12 "bongs," and since this is The Time Clock, no New Year. And his tail is hurting like the dickens, while the New Year and the Old Year yell about why they can't get started, or stopped, on their missions -- what a rumpus!
A TALE OF CATS AND RATS AND REALLY BAD CHOICES by Lazette Gifford. Grandma comes to visit Betra, who is proud to show off her new genetically adapted, programmed cat. Grandma, who lives on a farm and has a barnful of what she calls "real cats" isn't terribly impressed. Time passes. Science comes somewhat of a cropper....
THE PREY, THE PREDATOR AND THE CATALYST by Ahmed A. Khan. The prey is a beautiful young woman, the predator is a handsome sleaze who wants to marry her for her money, and the catalyst is a beautiful, fluffy cat named Jasmine. How Jasmine cat-alyzes the situation should bring you some New Year merriment, lasting well into 2007.
THE CAT, THE RAT AND THE NEW YEAR RACE by Chang Williams. Back in the ancient days, the Emperor of Heaven decided to organize time by dividing the years into groups of 12. He would name the 12 years after 12 of his favorite animals. The animals were invited to compete for the honor by entering a race. And they did. The ox, the tiger, the dragon, the snake, the goat, the monkey, the rooster, the dog, the pig, and -- the cat and the rat. In those days the cat and rat were best pals, and between them they plotted a way to win the race. But as with so many races until this very day, the fix was in...
A TALE OF TWO KITTIES by Chuck Goldstrom. Two mangy street cats, Cy and Arnie, wandered down a New York alley, wondering what they could do for fun in the Big Apple on New Year's Eve. After a few swigs of vodka from a broken bottle, Cy confessed to Arnie, "I foun' a time masheen." Arnie is dubious, and Cy vows he will take him to the "time masheen." It's not like any time machine we've ever seen, but it transports the two grimy little cats to....well, that's all I can say now.
PURR-FECT SENSE by Peggy Johnson. His beautiful fiancee greets him at the door with a strange -- indeed, frightening -- proposal about how they could spend their lives happily, and very, very differently from anything they have ever known. He's afraid. What if it won't work? What if they can't come back? But if he says "No," he knows he'll lose her, the woman he loves with all his heart. But what if...
FOOD FOR THOUGHT by Adam Banks. Poor Adam. He's caught in another family feud, a recurring theme from this talented writer. This time, he has to perform the impossible task of mediating between "Aunt Dorothy, who could be to the cooking world what Asimov was to science fiction," and the, ahem, fiend who threatens her annual victory in the community cooking contest. There's a lot at steak -- I mean, stake -- here, because Aunt Dorothy vows if the contest is fixed against her, she will not touch a pot, pan or kettle for the coming year. Adam's heart, not to mention his stomach, is touched by his dear aunt's dilemma -- and her ultimatum-- so he...
SEARCHING FOR MORIAH by Jean L. Ward. The narrator has weathered some harsh blows of fate in recent times, but her beloved calico cat, Moriah, was always there with her to help ease the pain. Then -- the worst. Moriah disappears. The narrator's life becomes the search for Moriah, and a beautiful allegory for the search every thoughtful person undergoes for the deepest meanings in life. It's not an easy search, either...
THE TIGER STRIKES AT MIDNIGHT by Jamie K. Schmidt. There's a grim traffic in wild animals. It usually starts, and almost invariably ends, with the death of the animal. But a small, dedicated group is determined to save and free the captives, no matter the danger or the cost. They care, because -- they're were-tigers. That means they have powers and abilities far beyond most animal activists. But they're not immortal. They can be hurt, and they can die -- a real risk as they seek to free the captives of money-mad moguls. (The were-tigers make Anne Rice's beloved vampires look like, um, stumblebums.)
THE YEAR OF THE TIGER by Paul Ray. Set in Japan (where the author lives), Tora, a grey cat ruled the home of his mistress, Yuki, until the arrival of that -- ugh -- puppy, Poochi. The baby Akita called on all the reserves of Tora's dignity and restraint. When Yuki visited the temple for the annual New Year's Eve celebration, the house had an unexpected visitor -- a legendary monster called a kappa. It was in search of...cucumber sandwiches. No kidding, that's what kappas eat! Well, among other things. Poochi did his best to drive off the intruder, as a good guard puppy should. Tora observed the ruckus philosophically, but when the kappa decided Poochi would make a good appetizer, Tora had to do something...
Well, I've told you so much about these stories now, you can see why I'm really excited about this book. It's at least as good as The Twelve Cats of Chrsitmas, if not better.
And the price is good, too -- only $12.95 for this 225-page 6x9 book that will delight you or make the perfect present for that certain person on your gift list -- the one who likes cats but has everything. They don't have this!
Please make out your check or money order for $12.95 plus $3.05 postage or a total of $16 to Jean Goldstrom and send it to Whortleberry Press, Box 771, Melrose FL 32666.
And have a happy Catty New Year!
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