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MONDAY: HEAVEN, THE MAIN OFFICE
It was Monday morning in Heaven, the Main Office, and the angel Gabriel could not find what he sought. He had come to work early, just to start looking. The prayer in-baskets were filled to overflowing, as was typical for a Monday morning.
Scanning a handful of dry petitions in one nanosecond, Gabriel tossed them back on the pile. Same old stuff. If they weren't stamped automatically by date, time and sender, you couldn't tell one from another.
Essentially, they all said, "God, give me..." except in many, many, many more words. And these weren't even the worst, Gabriel knew.
That distinction was reserved for those prayers that went straight into the Vain Repetition hoppers, where they were automatically logged by the name of the sender, contents summary (one word usually sufficed) date, etc.
Then the prayer was whisked straight to Heaven's power plant, where at least it provided heat, light and air conditioning. Gabriel flipped through the overflowing in-boxes, uttering as he often did a silent prayer of thanks that he didn't have to actually read them.
That burdensome and boring task went to a certain group of souls who would soon analyze them, and log in all requests and responses, however dull, meaningless and repetitive.
Those souls, hypocrites who had barely squeaked into Heaven, in life had generated far more than their share of such empty prayers as stuffed the in-baskets. Now, it was their eternal task to read the uninspired drivel aimed Heavenward by others of their kind.
Gabriel quickly riffled through the remaining prayers, heaving an angelic sigh. Deleting the words "I," "me," and "my" from some of these prayers would reduce their size by 50% -- which would be a Good Thing, in the angel's opinion. Sometimes Gabriel felt sorry for The Boss, having to accept these communications forever. Then, Gabriel would realize, that's how The Boss planned it, so it was okay. Fortunately, He has much patience and a sense of humor, the angel reflected.
Wait, what's this? Something caught Gabriel's eye, gleaming at the bottom of one of the in-baskets. Aha! Could it be...? Yes! The angel fished it out, sparkling and shining.
It was a petition, written in a childish hand, and labeled, "The Prayer Tree." The carefully pasted-together set of papers contained prayers from a group of children.
The children asked for peace, and prayed for good health for grandfather, requested blessings for their four best friends, thanked The Boss for pets and pals and schools and teachers and fun and laughter...a lump arose in Gabriel's angelic throat.
Now Gabriel spied just a few other sparkling and shining prayers here and there in the in-baskets. But what a precious few. Gabriel gathered them into a small, beautiful pile of radiance, glimmering and gleaming, and carried them lovingly to The Boss's desk, where they would greet Him upon His arrival at Heaven, The Main Office.
Gabriel knew what would happen. "Hold my calls, Gabriel," the Boss would mutter, "while I give these My undivided attention."
"Yes, Sir," Gabriel would respond, enthusiastically, knowing it would now be a good day in Heaven, The Main Office -- as it always was.
The first chapter, "Monday: Heaven, the Main Office," (reprinted above)shows an angel searching frantically through the piles of prayers in the Sunday in-boxes. He's trying to find one that isn't hopelessly selfish, to give The Boss's week a nice start.
The second chapter, "Tuesday: The Executive Meeting," brings the weekly get-together where the Divine One hosts Earth dignitaries such as Ra, Odin, Lao Tse and other worthies to share their thoughts. Of course, Satan has to burst in and try to wreck the proceedings.
On "Wednesday: The Really Accountable Accounting Department," there's a commotion -- again involving Satan, not surprisingly -- and the uproar lasts through the next day, when Jesus puts a halt to it.
On Friday, some frolicsome spirits well-known in the literary world play a practical joke on that trouble-making Satan.
Now it's Saturday, and on "Saturday Night, Where Do You Go? To the Best Little Bar Down Below!" Even Jesus stops in for a glass of water, and Satan begs him not to turn it into wine, as it would "give the cusomers ideas." Jesus has an even better idea to tweak the tail of the old, horned bar-owner.
But the next day is special, and all joking is aside. It's the Lord's Day throughout the multiverse, the almost indescribably-beautiful Day Of The Divine One.If you could visit Heaven for a week, what would you see? You might be surprised! This gently comic fantasy takes you on a week's tour of that place beyond the Pearly Gates.
Buy this one for your parents, your grandparents, your kids and...you won't be sorry if you even buy one for yourself. We put a lot of Whortleberry Love into this -- love that we receive with thanks from the Divine One, and try in this small way to pass some of it on to our favorite people -- you.
-- Jean
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